Waiting
by CosplayUK
Summary: Josh wants Sam to come back to the White House and become Deputy Chief of Staff, but Sam has been waiting too long for Josh...too long for Josh to realize what was always there. Sam/Josh slash


Disclaimer: I own nothing but my love for this couple.

Don't like Sam/Josh? Then don't read, seriously, hit the "Back" button and you will never have to see this again.

I am still new to writing these kind of stories, especially The West Wing ones, so try and be easy with me 3.

Please Read and Review!

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"You knew you'd hear from me..."

Was that all he could say? So many years or just mindless, short phone calls in which Josh would barely ask him how he was before he had to hang up; so many nights of sitting by the phone, just watching it never ring, praying that perhaps tonight would be different and yet knowing tonight was just any other night. He wouldn't call, this was Josh; he didn't look back and he certainly didn't look back for Sam Seaborne. Yet, here he was, acting as if somehow Sam was supposed to know that sometime, somewhere along the line, Josh would call with nothing in mind but business. Had Sam really been waiting for so many nights, alone and cold, for this?

"I thought as much...gave me time to hone my turn down..."

Sam could almost hear his voice cracking at the painful lie he had just uttered, well, half a life. The call from Josh had not been expected as their last conversation, which had been an awkward share of pointless chatter, had come and gone a good five months ago. However, there was some truth within that bleak statement; he had been practicing turning down Josh. He had to, he couldn't suffer another four, maybe even eight years of having to see him every single day, to be in the same room as in, to have to spend countless of sessions late into the night and not be able to tell him the simplest yet most life shattering of statements.

Sam Seaborne was in love with Joshua Lyman.

On paper, the statement seemed bizarre, almost impossible; but in practise, Sam had never been closer to anyone in his life than that paranoid, stubborn politician. Even as they walked and Josh chatted so casually to him, Sam could feel his throat drying out and his knees feeling numb, it was how Josh made him feel every day, it was a feeling that he had grown to love and to hate and it was a feeling that, for a good few years, he had missed.

"Tell me you don't miss it."

"I don't miss it"

"Liar"

'_You best your cute ass I'm lying Lyman.'_

He did miss it and not just because of Josh, though that was a pretty high on the list, he missed the sensation you felt knowing that when you did something right and you did something good, the world would benefit, every American and beyond would feel it. It was an amazing feeling that even the stress, the lack of sleep and the heartache could not overcome. It was the feeling of working in the White House and he missed it. Badly.

"Attorney" He joked dryly at the liar comment, slowly sliding down into a wooden chair of the local cafe outside his firm.

"It was an amazing thing you did" Sam commented softly, unable to not flatter Josh; he had won an election which seemed to be a one man race with his candidate nowhere near the finishing line, it was nothing short of a miracle, it was nothing short of Joshua Lyman.

"Well that was the easy part..."

'_Here it comes...'_

"...It's what you do with it that counts"

There. Right There. That was it. In that very sentence was what Sam couldn't help but love about Josh. Few got a chance to witness it and most who did didn't even recognize what it really was. But Sam did. Sam knew that behind all that arrogance and self-importance and all that mess of curls, was someone who wanted to make a difference, in a world of corruption and little to no morals in politics, Joshua Lyman was an honest Politian and for twenty or so years Sam had known him, that had never changed; and he loved that about Josh.

Still, Sam knew he was falling for it again, Josh had visited him after so long, after so many months that slowly turned into years and despite all his anger and frustration at Josh, Sam could feel his heart softening to him already, just like always. In a desperate attempt to steer the conversation, Sam chose to tease Josh for a little while.

"You know how much I'm making now?"

"It's gonna make me want to puke..."

"Not make you want to, you'll actually puke."

It took all Sam had not to laugh at the face Josh pulled, clearly the older man of the two was not fond of the idea of Sam's six to seven figure salary; but both of them knew that wasn't what was going to stop him coming back.

"So you can afford to come back to Washington and work for a government wage."

"I can afford to do good work right here, you wouldn't believe what I've got the firm to do, you should come work for me" Sam joked weakly in a vain attempt to keep the humours conversation going.

"Democratic House, we've never had that" Josh stated flatly, clearly done with the playfulness and was focused on convincing Sam.

"Republican Senate..." Sam argued back, though rather half-heartedly.

"Moveable"

"...Conceivably" muttered Sam.

"I almost lost though....you know? ...Makes you appreciate the shot." asked Josh softly, a tender and somewhat saddened look in his eyes, clearly wanting Sam to realise how much effort he had put into this, clearly he was now pulling his guilt card.

"Can't do it..." Sam replied feebly, his argument weakening gently.

"Can't just be the money" stated Josh, finally catching on something wasn't right, eyeing Sam slowly, as if trying to figure out what could be wrong. Sam felt his heart racing again and his words were failing him once more, it was those eyes watching him, trying to figure him out, it was driving Sam nuts.

"There's my love life!" He spat out quickly, not even really registering what he had just said.

"...That's....a moveable feast" was Josh's reply, but even Sam, in his state, noticed something about Josh as he said those words, his tone was a little rougher and just a tad...on edge?

"Well, what if I was dating? Or getting married!" He argued back almost childlike, a final, desperate attempt to try and keep Josh on his toes.

"Are you?" He asked, his voice suddenly getting a lot quieter.

"Well...I could-"

"I said are you Sam?!" He snapped, his voice much harsher and almost demanding, catching the younger of the two off-guard, his eyes blinking rapidly behind his glasses for a few seconds as he watched his friend look away slightly, with an expression of clear irritation on his face. It was at that moment, that Sam's confusing turned into bitterness and he could feel his fists tightening and his knuckles paling.

"You son of a bitch" He whispered hotly, causing Josh to turned around in surprise, his tired eyes now with an expression rather close to the one Sam had been wearing not ten seconds ago.

"Sam-"

"You've barely spoken a word to be these past few years and the only communication I get from you is either via a five minute phone call or a late Christmas card and now you have the cheek to come here and get pissy with me that I might be dating!?" He snapped, his voice getting louder and Josh soon became very aware that they were in a public place.

"Sam, I didn't mean-"

"Eight years Josh, for eight years I waited for you to wake up, I've been waiting for eight years for you to give a crap instead of having half-assed relationship with practically any women who can slap you around a bit!" He said, hot in the face and his fist now on the table, tightened and paling.

Josh couldn't say anything at this point, his gaze just fixed on his best friend, his mouth slightly hung open and his face paling as he began to realise the meaning behind Sam's heated words.

"Sam are...are you in...love with...you know..."

"You know what Josh? It doesn't matter either way, 'cause I'm tired of waiting" He stated, his piercing blue eyes mixed with both anger and a clear, aching pain as he stood up and grabbed his jacket, refusing to even make eye contact with his former friend.

"Sam..."

"Good luck with Santos, but I'm not interested" He said flatly as he walked away, leaving Josh with nothing but Sam's last words and the realisation he'd screwed up for eight years running. Sam had done what he knew was inevitable; Josh had left it too late and as usual had needed a wakeup call to see what had been sitting right there in front of him the whole time.

"Sam!" came an urgent yet faint voice, knowing who it was straight away, Sam didn't look back and just kept walking with every intent on running if he had to.

"Damn it Sam! Just stop for a second!" Came the voice once more, this time louder than before and Sam was already running up the stairs to his firm, the tears running into his cheeks as he pushed open the glass door to his office and slammed it shut, locking it instantly. Silently he listened to the sound of Josh passing his office and calling out his name loudly, desperately trying to find his friend in the unfamiliar environment. Closing his eyes, the attorney slid down onto the floor and no longer tried to hide his tears and wept in his office with nothing but the sound of distance thunder and his friend's fading calls in the background to comfort him.

Josh was gone by now, it had been a good five hours and he had told him his plane left an hour ago on the phone; Sam would eventually let the memory of today disappear from his mind, a painful reminder of what he could never have and what was never meant to be his. Sitting in his chair in the firm's weekly meeting, he listened silently to the heavy rain outside, his mind nowhere near where it should be for his job. It would probably be like that for some time.

"Mister Seaborne?"

A female voice caught him off-guard and his head turned slightly to its source, seeing his assistant standing there, along with one more face that caused his tired mind to be forced back into gear.

"Joshua Lyman is here to see you" She said

"....Can...you tell him I'm not in?"

He's....right behind me sir" She said slowly, looking back at Josh and then Sam once more.

"Yeah....Okay...would you all excuse me, I have to go kill someone" said Sam with a forced smile; causing his fellow attorney's bored and tired expressions to ones of utter bewilderment. Ignoring the looks, Sam rose to his feet again, only to nearly fall over in the process; there was that numb feeling again. As he got closer, he could see Josh was soaked and was forming a small puddle of water around his feet.

"What the hell now Josh? And why are you making my hall into a swimming pool?" snapped Sam, trying to keep his heart from bursting out of his chest. His assistant saw this as a good time to make her exit and slipped away down the hall.

"Well you know your security got pretty pissed off when I kept interrupting meetings to see if you were in one so they chucked me out" smiled Josh weakly, trying to bring back Sam's playful side.

"Then that begs the question why are you back inside?" demanded Sam in a cold, flat tone that soon wiped the smile of Josh's face and he lowered his gaze.

"Your pissed at me..."

"No shit Sherlock"

"..and I don't expect you to forgive me, in fact I don't want you to."

"Well it's good to know I have your permission Joshy, so why don-t you-"

"Just please don't stop loving me"

Sam froze. His whole world froze at that gentle whisper of a plead in Josh's voice; Josh did not plead, ever. It was just not in his dictionary, but it wasn't even that. It was the words that cause Sam's verbal abilities to become nothing more than a fish like expression on his face.

"God Sam, don't take that away from me, you can hate me forever, but don't take that away from me. Not that..." He whispered; his voice nothing but a tremble and now Joshua Lyman was crying, not loudly and not dramatically, but the silver tears running down his pale skin was all the evidence Sam needed.

"God damn it Josh" was all Sam could think of as their lips met for the first time. Slow, soft and sweet, it was everything a kiss should be, there was no shyness involved, this wasn't a new couple's first, nervous kiss. This was a denied love that had grown for so many years and been held back for too long, being freed in the simplest of ways. Once their lips had parted, Sam felt his legs actually give in and it was only with Josh grabbing him by the waist that he didn't end up with a rather damp ass.

"Well my work here is done" grinned Josh playfully at Sam's reaction to the kiss.

"Oh? I was gonna take my pants off but if your jobs done, that's okay" said Sam, letting go of Josh and walking down the hall, a small amused smirk on his lips.

"Well, I could always work after hours!" came the hurried reply and Sam did something he hadn't done in a long time.

He laughed.

"We'll be arriving in Washington in two hours" came the rather muffled and high pitch voice of their captain, Sam wincing slightly as her voice pierced his ears slightly, causing him to grumble and wiggle in his half daze of a sleep, using Josh's arm as his pillow for the time being.

"You do realise you have your very own pillow Sam?"

"I know..."

"And pray tell why you aren't using it?"

"I like making your life difficult Joshy"

"...Okay, you were the Deputy White House Communications Director for four years correct?"

"Yeah."

"And the best nickname you could come up for me was Joshy?"

"Kiss my ass."

"I'd love to but you're currently using me as a pillow"

Grinning sheepishly, Sam decided to give Josh a break and leaned back up straight, pushing the pillow behind his head and closed his eyes slowly, listening to Josh dial a number onto his phone.

"Mister President...it's Josh....yeah...yeah Sam's with me now..."

Sam's attention perked up a bit at the mention of his name and listened a little closer.

"Yeah, he's in.....thank you sir, just one question..."

As he said this, Josh gently pulled Sam's down onto his arm once more and gently stroked the side of Sam's neck.

"...How do you feel about me sharing an office with Sam?"

And once again, all Sam could do, was laugh.


End file.
